Chyeah.

MMM! Yeah. Mumford. This is how I'm feeling.

Merry Christmas!

THIS is what Christmas is about. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

I. LOVE. YOUUUUU!!!

I don't know a better send off than what I got from these kids! They are my cute 2nd graders and I already miss them so much. I have a video of almost all of my classes and I'm finding myself watching them over and over.

Our last night in Tongcheng we went to our headmaster/Dumbledore's wedding. Hahahaha oh man. What the experience. First, they asked Maddy and I to sing so we prepared to sing "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis and we had harmonies planned and everything. But then, this piano guy there was like "Oh! I can just improv it and accompany you." And we're thinking that he has got mad talent skills...plus we didn't have much say in the matter. So then we sing our song. And. Just be glad we forgot to record it because it was a train wreck!! I dunno if the applause was just a courtesy clap or what but I was trying SO hard not to laugh while singing.

And then there was so much smoking that when we took pictures, they all turned out blurry. GROSS!! My clothes and my hair smelled sooooo bad. Speaking of cigarettes, the couple played this game, if you will, where each held one end of a string in their mouths and in the middle was a lit cigarette and they had to light a candle with the cigarette. I mean, I've never seen THAT before. And then there was lots of karaoke. It was interesting!

The next morning we said good-bye to Annie, our best friend and liaison. I will miss her, our school and our students so, SO, much. My experience in China has been life-changing. Even though it was so hard, it was worth every little frustration and sadness. And I CAN'T wait for the day when I get to see those people again, whether it's here on earth or in Heaven. And then we'll be able to understand each other.

And I am so much more grateful for America. Man, I love this place. AMURICA!

Share YOU.

Continuing with my TED Talk OBSESSION, here's another! These are the perfect pick-me-ups and help me feel smart, especially since I've been away from school. TED Talks just make me feel so sophisticated and empowered. This one is so inspiring and goes along with a lot of my thoughts. Take a gander:

Why do we love? Why is it so important for us to love? Why can't we just sit around and do what we [assume we] want? What would happen if we all went about our daily lives without human interaction, without thinking about others, without loving? 

These are questions I've been studying in my mind for probably the past six months. After being stripped from all whom I loved and loved me and being plopped into a foreign country with people that I couldn't understand, I have come to learn how vital love is. We simply can't live without giving and receiving it.

I remember when us kids begged my parents for a dog and they told us we would have to remember to feed and water it and do all the little chores to take care of it--like something we call "poop patrol" which consists of picking up our dog's poop in the backyard. But, most importantly, they said we had to love our dog, or else the dog would die. 

And I think humans are just like that, too. We need love. It's what propels our lives.

But this love must be shown, or it is nothing. Shakespeare puts it best: "They do not love that do not show their love."

People are SO amazing. There is something worth discovering in everyone, and in order to do that we gotta step outside of ourselves and love. The human heart is more beautiful than any of us know. So here is a video to inspire you to share YOU. Because human interaction is such a blessing and enriches life.

Timshel

I feel like I have a renewed appreciation for humanity lately. People are just so magnificent. The fact that we get to live our lives as we choose and so often people choose to live a life that I think God would have us live--to be inspiring and share ourselves. 

I was talking to Shelby about this (visit her blog here, I know you won't regret it), and she reminded me of this quote on the meaning of the word Timshel from East of Eden, by John Steinbeck:

"I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed— because ‘Thou mayest.’"

The band, Mumford & Sons, so beautifully depicts a picture of someone who understands the meaning of Timshel. That "thou mayest" do as you choose, not one person determines your own destiny and to support those around us in what they choose.

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance


But you are not alone in this
And you are the mother
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars


And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you

[Just a side note that goes along with this post: when our friends are going through a hard time, "{we} can't move the mountains for {them}" but we can "hold {their} hand."  Again, well said. Marcus (as in Marcus Mumford this time.)]

I read a quote that was along the lines of: "Often we think there are only a few people that are actual geniuses, when really, there's a genius inside all of us that we can tap in to." And I think it's the same with inspiration. It is inside each of us to be inspirational, and we may or may not tap into it, but we can by sharing our talents and spiritual gifts.

Here's the connection between Timshel and the inspiration found in human souls: we all have our agency, we are "things to act, not be acted upon," which makes us all truly inspirational beings.

The here. The now.

With only one week left in China, I'm finding myself anxious to see my family but so sad to leave my students and this land that I've called home for the past few months. I am sad to leave my kids, so thrilled to see my family, and excited to see what adventures await!

I look back at the past few months and see times of confusion, hilarity, feeling lost, belonging, missing the hearts of family and friends, and cultivating new bonds with the hearts of the people here, old and young. It's been a BIG adventure and I've loved all the exploring and problem-solving and drinking in the sights, the feels, and the sounds of China.

I look forward to and am excited for the future. I'm armed with new knowledge I gained here in China that I can use for the rest of my life. I'm excited to create my own adventures in the coming chapters of my life. I can't wait to pick up more people to join me in this adventure and get to know more of God's children--whether it be in America or somewhere else in this world. 

And what about now? We can't just look at the past and the future with out looking at the present. Then we are just unhappy. The present is where life happens. Even though it's so sad to say good-bye to my students, I'm grateful for the extra love that is given and received. Even when I'm not teaching, I'm thankful for the time I have to think and learn about all sorts of different things in this world. Even though I'm SO excited to see my family and have all the other things that come with going home, I'm grateful for this time--this small thread in the elaborate tapestry of time that I can savor and reflect.

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this and I've been pouring over LDS Conference talks, web articles, quotes, and TED talks to learn how others live in the present, remember the past, and prepare for the future. One of my favorite lines from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol puts perfectly how I am feeling (especially with Christmas just around the corner!): 

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

I am so grateful for my mind, to be able to recall the past and learn from it. I am so grateful I can set goals for the future and have hope for things to come. And lastly, I am so grateful for my heart, that I can love the people and the places that are now and take in every moment little by little because this life is a tremendous gift. 

Definition of Courage

"Tell the story of who you are, with your whole heart...Let [yourself] be seen,deeply seen; love with [your] whole heart, even though there's no guarantee." --Brene Brown

Xi'an

This past weekend we went to Xi'an. The first capital of China, famous for it's food, old city wall, pure Chinese atmosphere with a hint of Muslim and it's very welcoming people. Seriously, so many random people welcomed us on the streets. I liked it. Oh, and the Terracotta Warriors are just a bus ride away. I'll just say it was a great weekend. Let me break it daaaayown for ya.

THE MARKET:

Where is all the good food in Xi'an, do you wonder? In the Muslim Quarter. So freaking dericious. Xi'an was the beginning (or ending?) of the Silk Road back in the day so there are a lot of Chinese Muslims. And do they know how to COOK. Let me count the ways:

1-- Huang Gui. I found out what this was actually called via the internet. Yay technology! This was our all-time favorite. It's persimmons dough stuffed with sugar and nuts and yumminess and then fried. So greasy. So good. There's a reason it's number 1. A definite must-try. If you don't try this when you go to Xi'an, you are dead to me.

2--These yummy meat sandwiches. Soft, thick, warm pita-like bread (for some reason I wanna call it Peeta bread. It was THAT good.), stuffed with juicy pinkish brisket-like meat. So flipping good.

3--So, you take some rice germ ish stuff and steam it. Then you get to choose a jelly to put on it and dip it in sugar and peanuts. If you dip it in grape or strawberry it tastes like PB&J!!! So good.

4--Strawberries on a stick dipped in hot sugar so it hardens and it's crunchy and juicy and yummy.

Lots of other good food was there too! We got classic home-made noodles with egg and tomato. Also a fave. But the dishes I listed were unique to Muslim Quarter. At least that I know of. 

We also did lots of shopping! I got lots of gifts for people and some pretty paintings for my future home. It was by far the best market I've been to.

THE WARRIORS:

Once upon a time we almost didn't get to see the Warriors. Translation: Once upon a time I almost had a heart attack. 

It was Saturday, our last day in Xi'an. Maddy and I were out grabbing lunch when Shelby and Marissa arrived. They had talked to the hostel which told them that we wouldn't be able to get to the Warriors before they closed because we'd have to take an hour bus ride through the city and then another bus to the site. After they called and said this terrible news, my mind was 80% made up that we wouldn't see the Warriors. But our hope encouraged us to just ask one more time. We got to the hostel and talked to them and proposed different ways to get to the Warriors quicker. And GUESS WHAT. We found a way!!!!! You could say a short taxi ride, a bus, and our legs got us there. But what REALLY got us there was our hearts, our hope, and our prayers.

Let me tell you, seeing the Terracotta Warriors was a million times more significant because of this little trial. They were surreal. Of course, you need the history in order to truly appreciate it. If you didn't it would just be dirt. But it was so magnificent. I had chills running up and down my body thinking about how these were real people, with real lives--ancestors to people we've met in China. And their spirits were probably watching us and being there with us and feeling what we were feeling. It was very powerful. And it was so wonderful to share it with my friends. 

...Aaaaand I got a student discount. Which is worth mentioning because I used my driver's license to get in because my student card is in America. BAM. Didn't know the difference! 

THE PEOPLE:

I dunno if it was the Christmas Spirit or what, but people were noticeably nicer to us. So many people welcomed us to Xi'an.

One guy gave us an old book! Which was nice...we think. It could be Anti-American literature for all we know. We left it at the hostel anyway. 

This cute old man on a bike and beret helped us find the Muslim Quarter (hahaha, we still needed help but his company was nice!) 

We had lots of opportunities to give and to help and it was wonderful to see the smiles on people's faces. And in turn, we saw people serve others, too!

There was so much good to see. One day, Maddy and I were just wandering when we stumbled upon a small Buddhist temple. We heard singing and we thought it was coming from one of those walk-mans that older Chinese people love to carry around. But, no. It was a lady, about 50, singing in front of the Buddhist statue. It was so beautiful to see her devotion and outwardly show her love for what she believed in. It was very powerful. 

Not only were the Chinese great, but we met some pretty great people in our hostel, too. That's one of my favorite things about travelling this way, you get to meet people who have the same dreams as you. I could stay up talking forever with these people, learning about their lives and travels. 

This is all just a fraction of Xi'an. It was so hard to narrow down what I wanted to say just in this blog post! It was the perfect last trip in China before I head out. Which is crazy. Imma cry and miss my students. And I'm sure once I get back to America I'll have withdrawals. But I sure am excited to see my family again.

The Power of Food

Being in China has made me so much more grateful to be from America. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE China so very very much. But, I am an AaaaaMURican through-and-through. I have fallen in love with America. Rather, I have discovered the love and the patriotism that was inside of me. And it's cool to see the parallels between my first year living in Provo and this time living in China. Last year I fell in love with Kaysville. This year I fell in love with America. It's funny the things I've taken for granted in life. And just because I miss one place, doesn't mean I can't be happy where I am at right now.

Right now I feel like I'm sort of in limbo in China. The end is drawing near and I've accomplished a lot and can see how much I've grown. I've been able to visit all the places I wanted (Almost, Terracotta Warriors next week!) and have had some sweeeet experiences. So now that all that has come to pass, the next big thing is going back--to school, to family, to being social, to yummy food. And the curve for growth is decreasing in acceleration (Calculus, anyone? As if I still remembered it. HA.). The excitement and discovery and uncertainty of this adventure is slowing to a stop.

I've settled into routine, and I don't like it one bit! I wake up, go to the cafeteria in my sweats and grab some rice balls and stuffed-with-nasty scones. I pick out the nasty and dip it all in honey. I get ready...which doesn't consist of much (I'M SO EXCITED TO GET LEGIT READY BACK IN AMERICA, IT'S INSANE!). I go to classes throughout the day (and love every second of it), eat some more at the cafeteria, and then I come home. Fill my time with SOMETHING. Reading, writing, knitting (Aaaaah, yeah. The things you manage to teach yourself when you're bored!), skyping, watching movies. At first I hated all this free-time. Sometimes I still do. BUT. This is probably the last of it I'll be getting for yeeeears. So I'm being grateful. THE POINT IS. We need something to make life exciting and rev it up again--just like we used knitting/crocheting to re-excite it a couple weeks ago, haha!

How do Maddy and I break this monotony? With FOOD. Lately, we've been skipping out on the nasty cafeteria food and making our own creations! We buy fresh produce down the street for really cheap. And it is wonderful! I feel so accomplished to provide for myself yummy, healthy food that makes me feel at home. We often stoop to fast food and Oreos to satisfy our American cravings but now we've been making stuff all on our own. Having good food really is a day-maker. Especially when you make it yourself. Last year when I was in college, my mom gave me advice that my Great Grandma Moonie gave her. And it is that wherever you are, whatever your financial situation, eat like you normally would. And then half of the pain of missing home or whatever is gone! Food really is such a strong link to home and comfort. MMM! I loooooove it!

Aaaaaaaaand, P.S. My camera broke. So. You're just gonna be seeing a lot of words. And I'm too lazy to find a corresponding picture/video on the internet. And I don't feel like waiting for my slow internet to upload this said picture or video.