Chyeah.

MMM! Yeah. Mumford. This is how I'm feeling.

Merry Christmas!

THIS is what Christmas is about. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

I. LOVE. YOUUUUU!!!

I don't know a better send off than what I got from these kids! They are my cute 2nd graders and I already miss them so much. I have a video of almost all of my classes and I'm finding myself watching them over and over.

Our last night in Tongcheng we went to our headmaster/Dumbledore's wedding. Hahahaha oh man. What the experience. First, they asked Maddy and I to sing so we prepared to sing "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis and we had harmonies planned and everything. But then, this piano guy there was like "Oh! I can just improv it and accompany you." And we're thinking that he has got mad talent skills...plus we didn't have much say in the matter. So then we sing our song. And. Just be glad we forgot to record it because it was a train wreck!! I dunno if the applause was just a courtesy clap or what but I was trying SO hard not to laugh while singing.

And then there was so much smoking that when we took pictures, they all turned out blurry. GROSS!! My clothes and my hair smelled sooooo bad. Speaking of cigarettes, the couple played this game, if you will, where each held one end of a string in their mouths and in the middle was a lit cigarette and they had to light a candle with the cigarette. I mean, I've never seen THAT before. And then there was lots of karaoke. It was interesting!

The next morning we said good-bye to Annie, our best friend and liaison. I will miss her, our school and our students so, SO, much. My experience in China has been life-changing. Even though it was so hard, it was worth every little frustration and sadness. And I CAN'T wait for the day when I get to see those people again, whether it's here on earth or in Heaven. And then we'll be able to understand each other.

And I am so much more grateful for America. Man, I love this place. AMURICA!

Share YOU.

Continuing with my TED Talk OBSESSION, here's another! These are the perfect pick-me-ups and help me feel smart, especially since I've been away from school. TED Talks just make me feel so sophisticated and empowered. This one is so inspiring and goes along with a lot of my thoughts. Take a gander:

Why do we love? Why is it so important for us to love? Why can't we just sit around and do what we [assume we] want? What would happen if we all went about our daily lives without human interaction, without thinking about others, without loving? 

These are questions I've been studying in my mind for probably the past six months. After being stripped from all whom I loved and loved me and being plopped into a foreign country with people that I couldn't understand, I have come to learn how vital love is. We simply can't live without giving and receiving it.

I remember when us kids begged my parents for a dog and they told us we would have to remember to feed and water it and do all the little chores to take care of it--like something we call "poop patrol" which consists of picking up our dog's poop in the backyard. But, most importantly, they said we had to love our dog, or else the dog would die. 

And I think humans are just like that, too. We need love. It's what propels our lives.

But this love must be shown, or it is nothing. Shakespeare puts it best: "They do not love that do not show their love."

People are SO amazing. There is something worth discovering in everyone, and in order to do that we gotta step outside of ourselves and love. The human heart is more beautiful than any of us know. So here is a video to inspire you to share YOU. Because human interaction is such a blessing and enriches life.

Timshel

I feel like I have a renewed appreciation for humanity lately. People are just so magnificent. The fact that we get to live our lives as we choose and so often people choose to live a life that I think God would have us live--to be inspiring and share ourselves. 

I was talking to Shelby about this (visit her blog here, I know you won't regret it), and she reminded me of this quote on the meaning of the word Timshel from East of Eden, by John Steinbeck:

"I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed— because ‘Thou mayest.’"

The band, Mumford & Sons, so beautifully depicts a picture of someone who understands the meaning of Timshel. That "thou mayest" do as you choose, not one person determines your own destiny and to support those around us in what they choose.

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance


But you are not alone in this
And you are the mother
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars


And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you

[Just a side note that goes along with this post: when our friends are going through a hard time, "{we} can't move the mountains for {them}" but we can "hold {their} hand."  Again, well said. Marcus (as in Marcus Mumford this time.)]

I read a quote that was along the lines of: "Often we think there are only a few people that are actual geniuses, when really, there's a genius inside all of us that we can tap in to." And I think it's the same with inspiration. It is inside each of us to be inspirational, and we may or may not tap into it, but we can by sharing our talents and spiritual gifts.

Here's the connection between Timshel and the inspiration found in human souls: we all have our agency, we are "things to act, not be acted upon," which makes us all truly inspirational beings.

The here. The now.

With only one week left in China, I'm finding myself anxious to see my family but so sad to leave my students and this land that I've called home for the past few months. I am sad to leave my kids, so thrilled to see my family, and excited to see what adventures await!

I look back at the past few months and see times of confusion, hilarity, feeling lost, belonging, missing the hearts of family and friends, and cultivating new bonds with the hearts of the people here, old and young. It's been a BIG adventure and I've loved all the exploring and problem-solving and drinking in the sights, the feels, and the sounds of China.

I look forward to and am excited for the future. I'm armed with new knowledge I gained here in China that I can use for the rest of my life. I'm excited to create my own adventures in the coming chapters of my life. I can't wait to pick up more people to join me in this adventure and get to know more of God's children--whether it be in America or somewhere else in this world. 

And what about now? We can't just look at the past and the future with out looking at the present. Then we are just unhappy. The present is where life happens. Even though it's so sad to say good-bye to my students, I'm grateful for the extra love that is given and received. Even when I'm not teaching, I'm thankful for the time I have to think and learn about all sorts of different things in this world. Even though I'm SO excited to see my family and have all the other things that come with going home, I'm grateful for this time--this small thread in the elaborate tapestry of time that I can savor and reflect.

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this and I've been pouring over LDS Conference talks, web articles, quotes, and TED talks to learn how others live in the present, remember the past, and prepare for the future. One of my favorite lines from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol puts perfectly how I am feeling (especially with Christmas just around the corner!): 

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

I am so grateful for my mind, to be able to recall the past and learn from it. I am so grateful I can set goals for the future and have hope for things to come. And lastly, I am so grateful for my heart, that I can love the people and the places that are now and take in every moment little by little because this life is a tremendous gift. 

Definition of Courage

"Tell the story of who you are, with your whole heart...Let [yourself] be seen,deeply seen; love with [your] whole heart, even though there's no guarantee." --Brene Brown